Friday, August 5, 2011

In Sickness and in Health, Until Lunch Time Do We Part

Do you take (Bride/Groom Name) to be your lawful wedded (wife/husband) to have and hold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?

What powerful, truly moving words. These words have brought together bajillons of couples across the world, and have, in all likeliness, been around for hundreds of thousands of years. I would be willing to wager a pretty won piece that these words were spoken over some of the most signifigant weddings of all time. They surly must have been said at the nuptials of Fred and Wilma, they were whispered with quiet elegance at the union of King Louis XVI and Kirsten Dunst, were enunciated loudly and clearly in attempts to drown out the sounds of slot machines as two became one in season 5 of Friends when Ross and Rachel were joined together, and most recently, were said with fun accents as the balding prince married that British woman who may or may not have once been a Spice Girl. So much history, and I, Peter Ramsey Teacher, had the blessed opportunity to be a part of these historic, binding words, just a few weeks ago.

The three couples were aged 6 and under. The joyous occasion occurred on 'role play day' in which the 12 students were meant to experience life outside the comfort bubble of Kindergarten. The 3 boys to 9 girls student ratio unfortunately made marriage impossible for 6 of the students, but they happily joined the audience as they wished the lucky girls who were able to snag a boy the best in their new married life, all the while mentally preparing to buy a bevy of feline life partner substitutes.

Before the weddings, myself and the other foreign teacher, Eric, along with the two Korean teachers who were orchestrating the entire event, helped all of the girls dress up in aprons and hairnets so they can prepare for their future. The boys arrived in nice shirts and ties and were promptly given fake cell phones. Despite the fact that they were all really happy and it was pretty hilarious, I couldn't help but imagine the reaction of Western parents when they were told that their little girl was dressed up in an apron to experience what life would be like in the future.

Next, the three girls who were up for gettin' hitched changed from their aprons into a more appropriate floral table cloth and veil, and the wedding ceremonies began. I was told to play the role of 'father of the bride' and Eric presided over the weddings. The kids were elated to be getting married, and when David was told that he may now kiss the bride, he ignored the Korean teacher's directions to kiss her cheek, and planted a big, wet kiss on Rosie's surprised lips. I will take a brief moment to share with you the story of David and Rosie. These toddlers are in love and have been for quite some time. Being given the opportunity to marry Rosie clearly was a highlight in David's 3 years on Earth. His huge smile and "V" sign in every photo instantly made me forgive the cultural sexism brought on by the aprons. He even was able to go an entire class period without peeing himself, which made the day extra special for them both. Take a look...


When the weddings were over, the girls broke into groups of three and went into different 'house' stations. Each of the three boys were assigned a house, and in turn, their wife and two live in girls. Polygamists? Bunnies? I guess we will never know. The girls once again put on their aprons and began fussing about their 'kitchens' complete with plastic food sets, and the boys took their phones and sat in a fake car as they went on a 'business trip.' When they returned, it was time to go to sleep. They sprawled themselves out on the floor and went to sleep. David seized the moment, and I watched in amazement as, with one hand, he did the yawn stretch arm around Rosie move, and plopped the other hand right in a place it really should not have been. The next morning, of course, all of the girls woke up pregnant.

Thus, the day of role play came to a close. The couples did not last, Daniel (pictured below) is no longer attending Kid's Land Academy, David is still visably in love with Rosie, but recently she has been giving a lot of attention to the other boy in the class named Lion. I guess being potty trained really is a way to get the ladies, and David has a long way to go.

Until Next Time,

Peter Teacher



  1. forgive the typos. will be fixed soon

  2. oh my gosh! love it! this was so much funnier than i imagined. yeah...would not fly here. but thats cool, gotta love korea.

    this is stephanie. i am on my mom's computer...